My whole weekend wasn’t that really interesting except for some few cookouts with friends. We also watched some few episodes of Dead Like Me which is an absolutely fab series. I love the bitchy lines they have there just like Ugly Betty. Now, I’ve been thinking that once I die I hope that I can work as a grim reaper or something like that.
Messy cookout = having fun!
Regarding the cookout, I always like cooking with a bunch of people. I get bored and can’t think of creative ways to cook something even if my life depends on it when I am alone. I don’t know if it is just me but how about you guys?
Anyway, my piece de resistance was The Harlot Salmon With Bacon Thongs. If you asked me why I named it as such because I like the sound of it. Plus it is vulgar which adds a little extra to something.
Originally, I saw it on BBC Food but I didn’t catch the part about the filling in the salmon. So I told myself to ditch the bitch and concoct my own shit instead. This is what I did but first we need a couple of these ingredients: (The amount of ingredients vary to how many people you’re going to serve with this dish.)
- Salmon fillet
- Strips of bacon
- Dill
- Pepper
- Chopped garlic
- Salt
- Oil or butter to fry with.
First, place all of the filleted salmon on a bowl then add some dill, pepper, garlic and salt. Mix and make sure to coat the salmon with the spices added. Remember to use your hands since they are the most effective way to do the job. Though I know that some of you might be skeptical to do that since the salmon has a strong fishy smell. Even after I washed my hands a couple of times it still smells like I was fingering an unwashed vagina.
Second, wrap a strip of bacon around a piece of salmon and set aside. Do the same to the rest. Apres, fry it on a pan with a cup of oil. Let it fry until you see that the bacon looks crispy and well done.
Looks good right?
Honestly, I couldn’t believe that the bacon and salmon works well together. It was so delicious and the recipe is cheap to make. It’s like getting a 10 dollar blowjob from a prostitute who had a trick baby or two.
I hope you guys will have some fun recreating this dish! 
never have that yet Chase…I have to try that one day.TC
I swear, I love your blog. Where else am I going to find a recipe that both educates and entertains? I’m fairly sure one would not these see these sentences anywhere in Connie Veneracion’s Pinoycook.net (a blog I stalk frequently):
“… it still smells like I was fingering an unwashed vagina” & “… like getting a 10 dollar blowjob from a prostitute who had a trick baby or two”. LOL! So vivid and descriptive. You rock. I bow down to your wordplay prowess.
Yes, that bacon-wrapped salmon looks awesome. I tried something like that once, except with fat juicy fresh scallops (wrapped with bacon), marinated in lemon, butter, dill… then thrown on the BBQ grill. Then thrown on top of a bed of greens lightly tossed in vinaigrette. Pretty good.
OMG I love scallops you should post the recipe on your blog!
That looks absolutely delish…. It most likely taste as mouth watering as it looks.
Damn, how come I never get invited to the great cookouts?
Well if no one is inviting you try organising one. That’s what I usually do. I hate waiting for invitations so why not create one instead!
That’s a great idea… Now if only I can find friends who actually can cook. Hmmmm.
You put them to shame….
oh, man, what colorful language. would’ve loved to hear Julia Child talk like that on her TV show. hehe
chase, that’s HOT and vulgar, but i like it the way you say it!
oh, wow! i WANT some of those stuff, chase!!!! ;(
i havent done any serious cooking… but if i cook.. i would love to have someone with me…para at least may mag assist. hehehe
wow ha… you are a good cook… to recreate a recipe? wow wow wow. now im hungry!
You should try doing it and if there is no salmon around try some other types of fishes
It sure does look good to me!
(:
You can create your very own cooking show, Chase! Very interesting ways to present a recipe! Hahaha
And the smell of your hands after the salmon thingy? Hahahaha
But this recipe sure does look good
I am actually planning to do that and place it on YouTube or something. Heheheh and make it as vulgar as this blog!
Hahaha! Will wait for that one, Chase!
I heard about Dead like Me. I’m going to try to find it *cough*cheappirateddvdcopy*cough* cause I don’t recall it being aired here.
As of the moment, I only know how to cook instant noodles (not the ones in a cup) using a microwave. I’ll keep the recipe though, just in case I need a hot, $10 blowjob dish. :p
You should learn cooking dear coz it will be quite handy. I am glad that my grandmother taught me some things before and now I just let my imagination fly!
GAH. Last week, I survived with hardly eating. This week, it looks like I’m gonna fail. Food! FOOD EVERYWHERE! Salmon! Bacon! So good!
Really? I should do that sometimes! hehehhehe
does dill taste like rosemary?
Nope rosemary has a stronger taste and smell.
oh… i see…
so dill’s better. hahahaha
Dill is actually meant for fish and chicken as what I’ve seen or read so far.
oh, i see…. amma try that later! haha
Looks “good”?? It looks awesome! Two thumbs up, hon!
Thank you!
That sounds and looks delicious, you’re a real “cordon bleu” :). all my cookings looks and tastes rather poisonous ):
I doubt it you are just being humble. I bet you can whip up some wonderful French cuisine!
Omelette is all i can do… i must get my mom to teach me some Moroccan cuisine that summer !!!
I love omelettes. I had the most delicious omelette when I was in Paris
then you’re gonna luve mine too
We should pay you a visit then when I am back in Paris hopefully!
It would be a tad diffuclt since i live 3000km south of Paris :s
But if you ever venture to Morocco,
please know you are always more than welcome in Marrakech.
My Norwegian father is planning to travel to Morocco. He has been there for like 14 times. He said Morocco is very beautiful and I would to see the country and try to experience the desert as well as riding the camels
Ooooh, interesting recipe, Chase! Gotta try that one soon!
i love to cook and experimenting… i love asparagus and beef strips too with bacon. wow!!!
but i want to try those salmon & bacon! looks yummy… *drools* haha!
I love asparagus and beef! I’ll try to do that again!
i can’t wait to see some more from you Queer Chef!!! i sooo lovhe asparagus and beef too…
but idk if you like that kind… sweet and oriental. 
some would also put a terriyaki sauce and sesame seeds
interesting… simple to make, too. i never imagined salmon and bacon going together, LOL. but it’s worth a try.
They taste good together indeed!
Bacon! Gosh, that looks yummy.
This recipe sounds fabulous! And it LOOKS fabulous too! Your pictures of all the food are wonderful and very appealing….Very Very attractive, my dear, and I think it’s a brilliant idea—-I have never heard of this combo in all my many years of living and semi-cooking (LOL)….Great Idea, Charles….
Now, Here’s my question for you.
If you don’t like Salmon…(Which I don’t) Could you use another fish, like Chilean Sea Bass, or Swordfish, or Halibut….or Ahi Tuna…(Which I happen to like ‘well’ cooked, anyway….)?
Have you ever tried it with another fish?
Also, I use the George Foreman Grill which is fabulous for fish….and you don’t even need to use any oil or butter with it…..I wonder if the bacon would cook well on that grill…..hmmmmm. Are you familiar with that grill there in Norway? It is small—but big enough that you can cook a lot on the biggest one…and it is electric and is really super….!
Anyway, I love when you talk about cooking and give us a recipe, Charles….And I am always impressed with you cooking with others, too! Sounds like great fun!
I think tuna will go well but I am not yet sure since I havent tried it. All we can do is just experiment. I’ll try grilling it this coming weekend!
Nope, I am not familiar with that grill but I’ll check on it on the Net. Anyway, thank you very much Naomi for the kind words. You are always super!
OH damn I shouldn’t have come in here hungry.
Craving!!
Too bad I’m a vegetarian, but I used to love cooking with friends. In middle school I had a really close friend and she was obsessed with cooking and we use to cook like everday.. it was yummy, haha.
And No, I don’t use wordpress x)
So you are using another type of blogging platform. Nice!
Lovely dish, Chas!
Hey thanks for coming to my site and leaving some love. Your food looks so delish! I would love to come to one of your parties! It’s so nice to see a guy who enjoys to cook. I love cooking, especially for my family and loved ones. I’m Italian so it’s in my blood! Take care!
I have an Italian friend and she loves to cook too!
MG, I thought you of all people would not have been so in to fingering unwashed vaginas. Maybe you did and then decided to turn queer.
No offense meant, hope you can appreciate my attempt at vulgarness.
There is nothing wrong with being queer.
I’m trying this recipe out, thanks ever so much for this! I’ll let you know how it turns out.
Well yeah I tried fingering a vagina before. It was way back and gosh it was a bit awful since the girl I was fingering had an unwashed vagina. Good thing I didn’t munch the carpet!
I am just wondering if you use cookbooks at all. You’re such a good cook. Truly Queer!
I rarely use cookbooks and if I did I dont usually stick to it and tend to improvise things. I hate measuring stuff. The last time I used recipes from a cookbook or something was baking a cake or muffins.
I learned from my grandmother to use instincts when it comes to cooking hehehhehe.
And that’s true talent! WOW!
Oh my, that looks so bitchilicious!! You have SKILLS!! And you’re SEXY too!! Deadly combo, Charles!!! I have to try that salmon wrapped with bacon, looks sooooo yummy!!!
Thank you dear Awaiting! Heheheheh
You’ve actually just motivated me to cook. A friend is coming over tonight and we’re going to do a big fried rice with some BBQ pork! Your cookout looks awesome - although I have to say… I can’t STAND Ugly Betty!!! Hahah
Fried rice and bbq… hmmm sounds lovely!
… I failed! I reheated lasagne instead. Haha shame on me.
wow mukhang masarap! ang daming pagkain, pwede na mag party sa inyo ah. mahilig ako sa salmon, masubukan ng a recipe mo.
wow! you have a recipe again. hehe.
when i cook, i’d like to cook on my own. but for other people. i don’t like cooking for myself. i even don’t like tasting what i cook
Some of my friends are like that but I love to eat most of what I manage to make.
Looks scrumptiously palatable! But do they really turn up burnt and all like that?
I don’t know if it is just me but how about you guys?
What? You asking me? I can’t goddamn cook even if the fate of the world depended on it! LOL!
Well since I always like my bacon a crisp and a little bit burnt. Also I was making sure that the salmon is totally cook not knowing that my friends like it a bit pinkish. Though they still ate the two plates of those without leaving something behind.
I’ll try to have the medium rare version later.
This entry is making me hungry!
Can you, like, adopt me or something?
Huh? LOL!
butter my muffin ! halo Chase, thanks for the comment and you take care.
I can cook too, and - I’m messy, burnt hands, bleeding fingers & dropping plates. I hate cutting onions & I’m disturbed with blogging while cooking.
“… It’s like getting a 10 dollar blowjob from a prostitute who had a trick baby or two.”
Funny.
Well I used to hate slicing onions but I got used to it. Now it is always a joy in cooking something.
Chase, you have a way with words! Salmon with bacon thong huh? Sounds too sexy to eat!
What the green dish? It looks yummy too.
Hahahhaha!
Well the green dish is just a medley of carrots, potatoes, grounded pork and I forgot the name of those green beans thingy. I just mix the stuff I saw in the fridge.
You’re the best kind of cook! One that can make something out of what’s at hand. Working my way there…except I have really picky eaters here.
Thank you! Yeah children are usually picky with food.
OMG, that looks so delicious! And the name of the recipe is also absolutely delicious too.
I’ve never tried that before… salmon and bacon… wow! 
Salmon and bacon works quite well together. Trust me!
Wish I had you to cook with Charles. You are right it is always more fun cooking with others. The meals end up so much more interesting. The salmon with bacon looks so delicious and this is a vegan speaking.
I am looking forward to visit and cook with you!
what a name,Charles!but it sound like you
i hate to cook when im alone,too.theres no satisfaction in it,ryte?
you know,you`re really the best “housewife”,err,chef I mean,haha!
Correct! I could be a good housewife heheheh!
Hmmm… yummy sexy food, Chase!
Really delicious! Sad to say, don’t know how to cook it! heheheeheh 
you have inspired me to attempt to cook salmon again. it looks delicious…but the the best part is the name.
LOL!! I love the title! and the food to go with it looks delicious
Hi Charles, I have a special surprise for you over on my site.
Ooooohhhh!
I am sure that hadn’t I been vegetarian I would have hitch hiked Stena Line and been in Norway to eat now.
It looks really good.
I agree: A bunch of people around while cooking is what makes it a thrill and also much nicer to eat together afterwards too!
I tagged you yesterday and this post is a perfect example of why! You always makes me think and this time how could you show the best way to cook Norwegian salmon. It sounds and looks so delicious - I just have to try one day!
I am so honoured about the thinking blogger award tag. Thanks again!
I don’t care if it the salmon will make my hands smell like, um, what you said
for days! That looks really, really good. I think I’m gonna try to make it one of these days for my parents…. I’m not so sure if I should tell them that it’s called “The Harlot Salmot with Bacon Thongs” though. lol
It is always such a joy to read your blog, I am bestowing the “Thinking Blogger Award” on you! Pass it on!
Thank you very much!
mmmm… yummy! (And that’s coming from a person who doesn’t eat bacon!) But I so so so love Salmon….
Did you cook squid too? I have a real weakness for seafood.
Not yet here but I will just for you!
Are you in Paris already>
What made you asked that? I am just here in Bergen. lol!
hmmmm…. i can almost smell and taste it!
ang sarap!
Everything looks so good Lil Bro’ You are the Queer Chef extrodinaire! I like to eat Salmon but your right I can’t stand the smell while fixing it. You’ll have to come and fix it for me. LOL. If the Film Career doesn’t go you can always open your own Restaurant.
My mother makes Salmon Patties by combining canned Salmon with eggs and Saltine Crackers then frying golden brown. Served with biscuits and gravy so very good.
I hope my Lil Bro’ has time to comment on my comment
I know there are a lot of them I’m just feeling blue today, Chase. Hugs and kisses, Big Bro’ Ed. 
I am so sorry bro that I wasnt able to reply on your comment. Why are you feeling blue ? I hope I can do something about it.
Anyway, you are right I can also open a restaurant and even Cybercelt told me to write also a cookbook and put all these vulgar-named recipes as well. Hugs and kisses to you big bro!
You should give me a recipe of your mother’s Salmon Patties big bro!
Hmmmm… wonder if it can be “veganized” ’cause if it can, i’d try it!
I’ll try to cook some stuff for vegans soon!
Fish and bacon is just so yummy!
God. That looks dee-lish.
Char